Marketing Plan Re-done!

After all the valuable critique I got from last week about my marketing plan, I’ve tweeked some things here and there.
The FE will still be American Cancer Society because I would like Relay for Life to be closely associated with ACS.
The core competence of ACS (FE) is: skill at resource distribution. Resources could include funding or health information or support services.
The goal, time frame and category definition will be the same as below.
I think the current customer definition—anyone touched by cancer—is too broad. I think the ideal customer would be someone who regularly participates in Relay for Life, which automatically makes them a donor (registration cost for the event is $10), and fundraises money on top of their registration fee. Of course people who donate to ACS without participating in Relay for Life are important donors as well; however, what I had in mind was a donor who is more active in the organization.
More about the customer…
I was thinking of focusing my campaign on college campuses because a lot of colleges and universities host Relay for Life events. So the lifecourse of my ideal customer is someone who registers for Relay for Life for the first time and is moved enough to register every year for Relay and encourages other people to participate. So these are really head loyals. They see the merit in participating in this event, and they can think of a list of reasons why they choose to participate every year. Hopefully these head loyals will eventually turn into heart loyals and continue to donate to ACS just because ACS is the best at what they do!
Back to the marketing plan…
The marketing objective is still to acquire new participants for Relay for Life.
The source of volume is still stimulating demand because it wouldn’t be appropriate for the category leader in cancer awareness to try to steal share from Susan G. Comen, for example.
The 4 B’s analysis: Are the “bodies” we will be serving the donors or the beneficiaries? I think it is the donors (our customers). The “belief” is that ACS does a lot to raise awareness about cancer. The “behavior” we want from the donors is participation in Relay. The “benefit” that comes from doing this behavior is the feeling like you actively did something to help people struggling with cancer.
Does this sound better?